Making Friends with Monsters
Sometimes we get big feelings. Teens and adults often process these feelings through words, talking about problems or anxieties with friends, family, mentors, or loved ones. Younger children may not have the words yet to express big or mixed up feelings. Even children with advanced verbal skills can get frustrated or overwhelmed when confusing or big feelings show up. Part of my work as a child therapist is to support kids in learning other ways to recognize and express the big feelings.
One tool that I use is my Feelings Monster. I have a friendly physical Feelings Monster that attends sessions when needed, but we also can make other Feelings Monsters with drawings, crafts, or toys. Developmentally abstract thought does not develop until about age 11, so making concrete things for kids to interact with in session to represent abstract emotions can be really engaging and helpful. No matter the mediums, Feelings Monsters can allow children to explore their emotions, express their feelings, and alleviate anxiety in a safe and playful way.
My Friendly Feeling Monster
There’s no limit to what a Feelings Monster can look like. It can be furry, cuddly creature with multiple eyes, a squid create with tentacles, or sharp and pokey fearsome beast. The Feelings Monster can be powerful ally in therapy sessions, serving as a tangible representation of a child's emotions. With the Feelings Monster, children can externalize their inner turmoil, fears, and anxieties. This helping friend can make it easier to articulate complex or mixed-up emotions that might otherwise be challenging to express.
The process begins with introducing the Feelings Monster to the child. Its appearance is deliberately designed to be non-threatening yet interesting. Kids can have control when creating their own Feelings Monsters, adding elements that feel right to them. To add a somatic competent, I sometimes ask about how different parts of the monster's body connect to emotions. For instance, a child might associate sadness with the blue fur on its head, anger with the fiery red tail, and happiness with the fluffy yellow arms. This personalized association fosters a sense of ownership and control over their feelings.
The Feelings Monster acts as a bridge. facilitating open dialogue and encouraging the child to communicate their emotions through storytelling, role-playing, or drawing. It becomes a channel for discussing difficult emotions indirectly, creating a safe space for the child to explore and express their inner world without feeling judged or pressured.
Through interactive play, children often project their emotions onto the Feelings Monster, allowing them to externalize and confront their feelings in a manageable way. For example, a child struggling with anxiety might narrate a story where the Feelings Monster faces its fears, empowering the child to confront and overcome their own anxieties. Sometimes the Feelings Monster can eat the fear or anxiety, allowing the child to practice release of mixed-up emotions.
The Feelings Monster can be a versatile tool for teaching emotional regulation. Children can practice identifying triggers and coping mechanisms by interacting with the monster. They can practice deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided visualizations. These techniques can be integrated into the narrative of the Feelings Monster, making them more accessible and enjoyable for children. Making the tools more concrete by connecting them to the Monster can be very helpful for younger children.
The Feelings Monster can be used with any therapeutic modalities. Whether employed in cognitive-behavioral therapy, play therapy, art therapy, or narrative therapy, the Feelings Monster can be a helpful tool for addressing various emotional challenges faced by children.
The impact of the Feelings Monster can extend beyond the therapy session. Children often develop a strong emotional connection with their monster, sometimes creating their own representations of it through drawings, crafts, or even writing stories. This extended engagement allows them to continue exploring and expressing their emotions outside the therapeutic setting, promoting long-term emotional well-being.
Additionally, the Feelings Monster can also be introduced in group therapy sessions, fostering peer support and understanding among children facing similar emotional struggles. Sharing their Feelings Monsters and the stories behind them can create a sense of solidarity, empathy, and mutual encouragement among the group members.
Feelings Monsters can be a helpful friend in facilitating emotional expression, managing anxiety, and nurturing emotional intelligence in children. It aids in creating a safe and imaginative space for exploring complex emotions. Inviting a Feelings Monster to session can help children to navigate their emotional landscapes with resilience and creativity. Perhaps most importantly, it helps make therapy time fun and playful.
